14 days to departure. Things that make you go "WAHHHHHHH":

October 1st.

In an ideal world where things just work out, Murkle would be packed to the brim and en route for home, good `ol Cape Breton, at the best time of the year when the leaves are starting to turn colour. But things rarely work out as planned for THIS girl. With a week of vacation that took some arm twisting to secure seeing as how it fell on the Thanksgiving long weekend, I never in a million years thought that I would find myself spending it in CORNHOLE. Wahhh. But everything happens for a reason, right? So maybe an added week spent in Cornhole not as a resident, or employed citizen, but rather as a visitor, will help to reinforce that it is time to make a move out of town; that packing up my comfortable life and allowing myself to bust out of the Cornwall bubble will put things into perspective that a change is for the best. At this point, Cornwall is the life I know. Though I have only been here a year, it has become comfortable. It has become routine. Maybe not literally, but metaphorically, I am wrapped in the fetal position at 117 Sydney. The fact that I have to wait for my passport which is presently being held hostage at the Indian Embassy for the sake of $2 is only allowing me the time to sit around like a sloth and question where my head was at a few months back when I made the decision to hand in my notice in announcement of my retirement. A part of me is afraid that the longer I wait around for it, the further and further into the fetal position I will become. At this rate, two sisters may need to take a pit stop en route to India to unclench my sloth nails from my beloved bedpost.

How did I get here? My last month in review/ Things that make you go "wahhhhhhh"/You know you`re a trainwreck/have lived in Cornwall too long when:

- Two weeks ago I got a positive testing for strep throat, after having been a carrier of it for approximately two months. All around me, people crumbled at the seams with sore throats. One friend whom took three rounds of antibiotics only to still suffer from a sore throat, insisted that I also needed to be checked; rumour had it that I was infecting those around me. I laughed it off. The very concept of infecting people without actual symptoms seemed absurd. Besides, we all know how little tolerance I have for germs and waiting rooms. Sick of hearing people tell me I needed to get tested, I decided to get tested just to confirm their ridiculousness with a negative testing. First stop? Service Canada to apply for a health card. Apparently when I re-applied for a health card in 2009, I had moved from one apartment to another and when the initial card was returned to sender, they had cut me off. I had spent three years in Canada without a health card. Things that make you go "Wahhhhh". Testing= positive.No bragging rights. Again, things that make you go "wahhhhhhh."

- At the end of August, I was stopped by  in Ottawafor the very first time and walked away with 5 different warnings. In Cornwall, there is so much crime taking place that unless you`ve threatened to kill someone, have vandalized a building, or tried to punch out a cop, you generally will not get pulled over for something so harmless as an expired sticker. Would you believe that I had no idea that these sticker things on one`s license plate have an expiry date? Things that make you go "Wahhhh." Warning # 1. Other warnings? Three driver`s licenses all with a different address, expired car insurance, pulling one`s ownership out of the trunk (there was no room in my dash with all the travel snacks. sheesh), a cracked windshield, and mismatched addresses on ownership versus insurance. Three days permitted to go to the department of motor vehicle to change one`s address? Who can keep atop this stuff, really? Things that make you go "Wahhhhhh."

- A non- approved tourist visa is returned to me mid- September. Why? Good question. I take a Monday off of work to head into Ottawa to get down to the bottom of this. The verdict? On September 8th, I called the Indian embassy for the cost of the visa. $83.75 was confirmed. I mail in the money order along with my application. A letter is sent to me dated September 12th notifying me of the rejection. Apparently the price of the visa went up $2 to $85.75 on September 10th (whereby my application was either in transit or was sitting on someone`s desk somewhere waiting to be open). It`s 2:25pm and the clerk tells me that I can`t just simply pay $2, as all payments need to be in the same form. I pull a running man down to the nearest quickie and pay not $2... but $2 plus another $6.75 for a second money order. The woman tells me I will have enough time to get the money order before they close up at 2:30pm. I look at her like she is insane, but I attempt it. Sure enough- I get back to the office at 2:31pm and she hasn`t waited for me. The doors are locked with a notice to return the next morning. I start banging on the door like a lunatic. There`s no way I can take another day off work to return for the sake of this $2. They let me in. I am advised that the visa will take 5-10 business days to process. I tell them I am leaving the province in a week. Can the passport be mailed to me? I am told they only ship within province at a standard rate of $20 because otherwise shipping charges would be too difficult to figure out. I need to make the decision now whether to ship it or pick it up in person. I ask them if it processes before Friday if I can pick it up and get my money back for shipping. The woman points to a line she just had me sign that reads "absolutely no refunds for anything." I tell the woman that this is ridiculous, that the woman I called to have the price confirmed should have advised me that in two days that price would go up $2, as the entire process has inconvenienced me and will have cost me up to an extra $100 in extra shipping, money orders, and in putting me behind schedule in my plans to leave the province by the Friday. No apologies. Nothing. With an expired metre waiting for me outside due to not wanting to lose my spot in the queue, I am cursing India. "India, already I hate you." Things that make you go "Wahhhhhhh". When I explained my dilemma to my supervisor on my last day of work, she told me "only these things would happen to you" (apparently she remembers the deer accident dilemma in rural New York from last November).
- I`ve skimmed a considerable number of travel blogs these last few months while preparing for a departure of my own. A common theme I see in all of them is the difficulty experienced in coming to terms with the loss of job security. A few months back, as I read this, I thought to myself: "that`s the easy part." Boy was I in for a shocker this past Friday when I packed up my sad looking box of office supplies and walked sadly toward my Murkle. This was only reinforced half an hour ago when I went to get a prescription filled and the woman entering the details into the computer looked at me and said: "Wow, you have really good benefits. $2 only." I looked at her like a sad puppy dog and replied, "I know." The fact that these great benefits expire on Friday hits me like a pound of rocks. Last week I had dental work done and got a bill for $600, asking me to pay the $9 amount that my insurance didn`t cover. On Saturday, I`m on  my own. Things that make you go "Wahhhhhhhh."

- I bought an Ipad for the trip about three months ago. I accidentally plugged it in to my roomate`s apple laptop to breathe it life. Now it will only respond to her apple ID. I got frustrated and threw it into a corner for the past three months. This morning I blew the dust off and gave it another go. It`s reading my own email address now but I can`t remember the password I would have entered. I can`t get into it and there`s no option for a password change. Things that make you go "Wahhhhhhhh."

- Typhoid Shortage. Yes, that`s right. The one vaccination I needed and it just so happens that it is not to be had in Cornwall/Ottawa. How do I know this? Because I`ve called a gazillion pharmacies, who apparently get their drugs from the same supplier. The oral dose is on back order, and the vaccination is out/recalled. Things that make you go "Wahhhhhhhh." Anti- malarial pills? Got a prescription for three month`s worth. $519... $246 after benefits kick in. Only to lead to the inevitable rumbly belly. Things that make you go "Wahhhhhhhhhh".

- So I`m feeling pretty sorry for myself and having just said my good- byes to a friend I`ve had in Ottawa for the greater part of two plus years, as he was on his way to Vegas for the week, I decide--- where better to drown my sorrows then in my number one comfort food: The McDonald`s Smarties McFlurry. I`m sitting in the drive thru... my sorrows about to be washed away in a cup of soft serve, hot fudge, smartie crunch explosion. Discontinued. Check the Brookdale location. Discontinued. Try our new Drumstick flavour instead. My hate of ice cream cones and waffles is right up there with rodents, bodily fluids, pharmacuetical sales, and the Indian Embassy at this point. Things that make you go "Wahhhhhhhhh. "

14 days to departure. I`ve done no planning for the trip. My passport is being held hostage. The workaholic that I am, I`m experiencing anxiety and a need to be payrolled somewhere/anywhere. 7 days of antibiotics that leave me with symptoms which require further meds to treat, and I now feel a sore throat coming on. I`m on "vacation" in Cornhole, my only option for driving home is through Montreal and that stirs an unthinkable amount of anxiety in me. I have a list of items from Wal-mart that I could pick up for the trip such as deet (since anti-malaria pills are still up for debate), toothbrush (since my current one is strep infested), but it being just past the end of the month, I am too scared to go there because I am worried I will officially self slip myself into the same category as those who frequent there (my ex. clients). On a positive note, I am entitled to free masssages for the rest of the week, there`s a cute little coffee shop around the corner from the condo that I can now appreciate, and I get to spend my days with a needy kitten Gretchen who worships the ground I walk on. Where will tomorrow bring me? I don`t know. But that`s half the fun of the adventure, right?